Musings of a PK

God brought it to my attention again today just how many pastors kids and wives are hurting. The unfortunate thing is that many feel completely alone, yet often surrounded by church members. They feel like they have no one to talk to that truly understands. So sealing up your glass house and hunkering down seems like the best option. However, this course of action leads to loneliness, depression, fear, bitterness, and anger. And anyone will tell you that those are not appropriate emotions for the pastors family. So go ahead and heap on good helping of guilt to sit with the other inappropriate feelings. But all of this must be kept quiet, because on Sunday, you have to put on your best smile and pretend to be the happiest person in the room. Alone. Can you imagine what this would be like for a grown woman...much less a child???  Some might ask...well why do pastors wives and children feel so alone...don't they know we love them?  Well I'm glad you asked... 1. Almost all pastors families have been burned by a church member or an entire church at some point in their lives. Once burned...your natural reaction is to keep at a distance that which burned you. 2. Almost all pastors family have been shunned or made to feel like an outcast at some point..."Shhh don't say that the pastor's wife (or kid) is here...Sorry Pastor's Wife (or kid) didn't mean to let that word slip...Don't invite them, they'll make everyone feel uncomfortable at the party" 3. Pastors families tend to live in a glass house, some more see through than others. That kind of magnification on everyday life would make anyone feel all alone in a spot light. 4. Pastors families tend to have an innate desire to protect their dad (or spouse). They don't want to open up and vent to someone and give them the wrong impression. Church members view their pastor as the pastor. The pastors family sees him as dad and spouse. We all know dads and spouses mess up from time to time and sometimes you just need to vent. However, that venting about dad or spouse may change the church members view of their pastor. So the family protects their dad or spouse and keeps quiet.    I'm sure there are more I can add to the list, but I think you can see why a pastors family may feel alone. Even the pastors families that are lucky enough to be apart of a great congregation still feel alone at times. It just goes with the shoes you have to wear. Every pastor's wife and pk's adventure is different but we all share a special bond. My heart is with pks because I've walked those shoes. I'm now grown and married, but I'll always be a pk. I'd love to hear from other pks and go on this adventure together!