Lord, Let me not forget!

My prayer is that I will not forget the lessons God is teaching me. I quit my job in June. This decision was not made lightly or without much prayer. My husband and I both prayed over this decision for a year. We finally felt God's yes and peace about resigning from my position. When I turned in my two weeks notice, I honestly thought God would put me in another position that same month. After all, he knew we had bills that needed to be paid. However, the story has played out much differently. I still am unemployed. But thank God I am not unchanged. The amount of lessons that I have learned in this short period of time are more than I could possibly type in a blog! But I want to share one that I pray I will never forget. Growing up my family had financial ups and downs. I never knew this until I got older. I always had food to eat, clothes to wear, and a roof over my head. We also had toys and things that we just wanted to have. My parents did there very best to give to us. I am and always will be grateful for their sacrifices and their provision! However, when I met my husband and we started sharing with each other about our upbringing, including what our Christmases were like... my heart grew extremely heavy. I thought, though I don't know I've ever told him(guess he knows now), why was I so blessed with stuff and several gifts for Christmas even as an adult, and he wasn't. He would say he was extremely blessed. And until this time of not having a job, I didn't really understand what he meant. I have heard him say several times this Christmas that it's not about the gifts. It's about being with your family. It's about Jesus and the joy you find in him! I just watched an episode of 60 min about families in Cleveland, OH that are having to abandon their homes because they can't pay their mortgage. 1 in 5 homes there have been deserted. The more I heard the more infuriated I became. I started telling my husband how upset that made me. This morning in Sunday School the popular question was... Are you getting what you want for Christmas...or...have you gotten everything for Christmas?....Those questions and that story on 60 min just made me think... In the midst of all our stuff, What are we doing as Christians for all the people in our own country that are in such need? Do we even know who they are? Do we know people well enough to really know what would help them? A bag of groceries, a book of stamps, help on the mortgage, the car payment, the light bill, the water bill, gas for the car, a new jacket....the needs are endless...In this economy, people that once were financially set are now struggling. Its hard for most people to share their needs. But here's the lesson I hope I never forget....Let Jesus know what you need. He will provide!!! I have seen this time and time again over the past few months. We pray everyday, several times, for a job for me. We hand our needs to God. And every month he provides food, pays our bills, and little extras to make us smile.  But my lesson has been this...Meaghan, when I bless you with something, you immediately bless others. You keep your eyes open for the people I'm going to bless through you. You keep your ears open to hear what people need, even when they aren't asking for it. You keep your heart open to love my people. I pray that I will never forget ....Jesus is looking at all of us saying..."You give them something to eat." ~Luke 9:13. I pray that we will, as a church, get back to Acts 4:32-35. God made a promise to Abraham a long time ago...I will bless you and all peoples on earth will be blessed through you. It still holds true today...God blesses us so that others will be blessed through us. Let's go be a blessing!

Job Hunting

Well...I'm still on the job hunt.  I would greatly appreciate your prayers during this time. If you know of anyone hiring in the Pensacola area that you think I would be a good fit with, let me know!

Is God Listening?

"Have you almost given up on God answering an earnest, long term prayer of your heart? Not becoming hopeless over a repetitious request can be terribly challenging. God never missed a single petition from the children of Israel to send their Messiah; nor did he miss a solitary plea from the aching hearts of a childless couple. God does not have some limited supply of power, requiring that we carefully select a few choice things to pray about. God's power is infinite. God's grace and mercy are drawn deeply from the bottomless well of his heart. When Zechariah stood at the altar of incense that day and lifted the needs of the nation to the throne, an ample supply of supernatural power and tenderhearted compassion remained in the heart of God to provide not just his needs, but the desire of his heart. God was simply waiting for the perfect time. Do you have a long-standing prayer concern? If you have received a definitive no from God, pray to accept it and trust that he knows what he's doing. If you haven't, don't grow weary or mechanical. Like Zechariah and Elizabeth (Luke 1:5-25), continue to walk faithfully with God even though you are disappointed. Walking with God in the day-in/day-out course of life swells you assurance that God is faithful and enjoyable even when a request goes unmet. Recognizing all the other works God is doing in your life will prevent discouragement as you await your answer. Zechariah waited a long time for God's answer, but when it came, it exceeded everything the priest could have thought or asked."   
                                            ~Excerpt from Jesus the One and Only by Beth Moore

At The Table

"It is a solemn thing, and no small scandal in the kingdom, to see God's children starving while actually seated at the Father's table." ~AW Tozer

  When I read this statement in Tozer's book, The Pursuit of God, it really struck a chord. When I picked up this book, this is exactly how I was feeling. I knew that I am a child of God, but at the same time I knew that my soul wasn't satisfied. There have been times in my life when I have felt overwhelmed with satisfaction in relationship with God and times when I have not. So when I read this quote, I thought that is me...and oh how badly I want to be satisfied again!  So I began ponder on how in the world I could sit at God's table and not be satisfied. Since I know that God never moved from the table, nor did he move the table with out me noticing :), I had to take a long hard look at what I had done to starve myself. Have you ever sat down for dinner with another person sharing a meal without saying a single word? This can be most uncomfortable. There are nights when Andrew and I sit down for dinner and we are so tired or hungry that communicating is not priority. However, I am a firm believer that great family communication starts around the dinner table. So when I realize that I am putting conversation with Andrew on the back burner, I have to intentionally engage him in conversation. Communication is key to having a healthy relationship. This was the first step in starving myself at God's table. I stopped communicating....I checked out. Life got in the way and I let it. Yes there were times when I prayed and talked to God...but not the soul satisfying, I need to hear from you type of communication. So how did I fix this...I pulled up my chair at the table and engaged the host. God and I have grown close over the years, so conversation with him was familiar, but I still needed that spark in my soul... that deep down, soul thrilling, delightful joy and peace grounded in faith kind of satisfaction. Your soul hungers and thirsts for it. I needed to be feed. I needed that which would quench my hunger and thirst...God's word. So picking up my Bible, I opened and said thrill me with your truth. The more I opened the Bible and read, the more my soul started to come alive again. Oh how I had missed that! My prayers were sincere...I wanted to be satisfied by my Lord. One more thing needed to happen...I needed to experience Him...see him working...Well I'm getting that too. For example, It has been my prayer for a while that Andrew and I would grow closer to Him as a couple. I have not told him that I was praying for this. And the other night as Andrew was praying over our dinner, he prayed for exactly that. A big smile came over my heart! God is working...and I'm experiencing it. Talk about sitting at the table satisfied! I know that several of God's children are essentially sitting at His table starving...Good, Christian, church-going people. Beth Moore's words come to mind, "That ain't no way to live!" I know that to be true! Don't just sit at the table...sit at the table and be truly satisfied!

Melaleuca

Melaleuca is a science-based wellness consumer products company that manufactures over 350 products, and it's environmentally friendly. I love using Melaleuca products. The best part is that I know their products are made of all-natural ingredients. This means that mine and Andrew's home is free of harsh chemicals. I love knowing that changing something as simple as switching to Melaleuca products is making my home safer. Andrew and I were a bit skeptical of the products when we first started shopping with Melaleuca because I've tried other "natural" products that just didn't do their job. But we have never been disappointed with Melaleuca. Plus, it eased our mind to know that everything had a 100% money back guarantee. All of Melaleuca's products have patents or are in the process...which is cool because you know they are unique! Andrew and I don't spend extra money on Melaleuca products, we just switched from shopping at (walmart, target, cvs, etc....) to shopping at www.melaleuca.com. Check out what others are saying about Melalecua www.whyilovemelaleuca.com If you are interested in shopping with melaleuca or want more information please get in touch with me...I'd love to get you on your way to a safer home!

meaghanmweir@gmail.com
www.internetceomoms.com/whynot

Musings of a PK

God brought it to my attention again today just how many pastors kids and wives are hurting. The unfortunate thing is that many feel completely alone, yet often surrounded by church members. They feel like they have no one to talk to that truly understands. So sealing up your glass house and hunkering down seems like the best option. However, this course of action leads to loneliness, depression, fear, bitterness, and anger. And anyone will tell you that those are not appropriate emotions for the pastors family. So go ahead and heap on good helping of guilt to sit with the other inappropriate feelings. But all of this must be kept quiet, because on Sunday, you have to put on your best smile and pretend to be the happiest person in the room. Alone. Can you imagine what this would be like for a grown woman...much less a child???  Some might ask...well why do pastors wives and children feel so alone...don't they know we love them?  Well I'm glad you asked... 1. Almost all pastors families have been burned by a church member or an entire church at some point in their lives. Once burned...your natural reaction is to keep at a distance that which burned you. 2. Almost all pastors family have been shunned or made to feel like an outcast at some point..."Shhh don't say that the pastor's wife (or kid) is here...Sorry Pastor's Wife (or kid) didn't mean to let that word slip...Don't invite them, they'll make everyone feel uncomfortable at the party" 3. Pastors families tend to live in a glass house, some more see through than others. That kind of magnification on everyday life would make anyone feel all alone in a spot light. 4. Pastors families tend to have an innate desire to protect their dad (or spouse). They don't want to open up and vent to someone and give them the wrong impression. Church members view their pastor as the pastor. The pastors family sees him as dad and spouse. We all know dads and spouses mess up from time to time and sometimes you just need to vent. However, that venting about dad or spouse may change the church members view of their pastor. So the family protects their dad or spouse and keeps quiet.    I'm sure there are more I can add to the list, but I think you can see why a pastors family may feel alone. Even the pastors families that are lucky enough to be apart of a great congregation still feel alone at times. It just goes with the shoes you have to wear. Every pastor's wife and pk's adventure is different but we all share a special bond. My heart is with pks because I've walked those shoes. I'm now grown and married, but I'll always be a pk. I'd love to hear from other pks and go on this adventure together!

Pastor's Kid (PK) Adventure

This post, http://bradmoffatt.wordpress.com/2007/10/25/pastors-kids/#comment-1020, and the replys were a very interesting read. I've been researching help for pastor's kids because I would love to one day have a venue to minister to other pastors kids. If you know a pastor's kid please take a minute to pray for them.


I have an incredible dad who happens to be a pastor. I love my dad very much and think the world of him. I think he would be the first to tell you that life in a pastor's home is not always easy. Nor is it ever perfect. I think it is safe to say that my dad definitely had to learn how to balance ministry and family. He didn't always get it right, but what parent does? I think the underlying issue that pk's struggle with is that their parent isn't just absent because of work, but to the kid...the parent is absent because of God. When you start meshing the spiritual into the parents career...it can get sticky. As I've gotten older, I've realized that the pressure surrounding me as a pk was not at all because my dad put it there, but because of the stigma and standard that comes along with being a pastors family. I've always felt a strong need to protect my parents from any hurt or wrongdoing from me or anyone else, sometimes at the expense of my own sanity. I'm sure my parents would say even now that I could talk to them about anything, but more often than not, my need to protect them keeps my mouth shut. Another pressure sometimes unknowingly placed on me as a pk, is a desire to be perfect. And when I fall short, the fall seems that much harder. Everyone's watching. I'm sure my sibilings would agree that living in a glass house is not fun. And sometimes you just want to be like everyone else. No pressure to be the most Godly person in the room. This is how pk's get a bad rap. They just want to know what it feels like to be bad. I know that sounds funny...but to a pk...we get it.  So for me, I have to say that most of my struggle as a pastor's kid has not been because of my dad, but because of the stigma placed by the world and church alike. There was one church that my family was at that really hurt me. It took me a long time to get over it. In fact, there are still places in my heart that are tender to that hurt. However, the church that my dad is currently at has overall been a huge blessing. Sure the pressure was there....but for the most part I have felt nothing but loved.   One thing I've always found interesting is that whenever me and my siblings  bring friends over, they are always suprised at how down to earth my dad is but yet always aware of the "elephant" in the room, so to speak. Pastor, wife, kids, and church....it's an interesting dynamic. One that isn't easily explained. I'm working on being more candid in talking about my life as a pk because I would love to help those in similar shoes. So I'll welcome any questions. It'll be a pk adventure!

I need your help!

I'm running out of quick recipes! If you have any recipes you'd like to share with me, I would appreciate it! I need things that are quick and budget friendly. Please help! You can write the recipes in the comment section or email them to me at msm05set@hotmail.com
Thanks a bunch!!!

On a soap box...

Forgive me in advance, but I'm going to jump on a soap box for a minute...
    I'm not really sure where this idea came from that if we as Christians do x,y, and z perfectly then we will somehow be some greater than thou Christian. I mean what is that! It really makes me think of the pharisees. Working so hard to make sure you do the right thing to perfection that you totally miss what Christianity is really all about...Relationship. I'm going to preface my next statement with the fact that I firmly believe in order to grow as a Christian you have to read the Bible and pray. However...when you become a slave to the "quiet time" and you are doing it just because you are "suppose to," then I'd be willing to bet your goal is to be a good Christian. The problem is that when we spend time reading the Bible and praying our goal should be to get to know the God of the Bible, not to read the Bible because it will make me look good. If you are just reading words and not communicating with the God who spoke those words, you probably walk away thinking, "Well that was good, not really sure what it meant, but I sure do feel better having done my "quiet time." I've talked to so many people that feel like a bad Christian when they don't do their "quiet time" every day...for at least 30min...in a quiet spot...at 5am...with their study bible and journal...and 5 extra devotionals...and 30 more min of prayer. Do you see how far we can take this idea of  a "quiet time" to make someone feel that if they don't do it this particular way, then you aren't doing it right and you should feel bad about it? For me, this idea started in youth group. I can remember thinking, "Well that sounds boring...but if you tell me I have to do it to be a good Christian, then I guess sign me up." I had youth ministers that would even give out a step by step on how to have a good "quiet time." So I worked real hard at those systems but they always left me feeling really bored. Then one of my youth ministers introduced me to a very exciting God. One that allowed me to question and challenge my beliefs. One that always left me wanting more. This youth minister didn't push a "quiet time" on me, he introduced me to the True God of the Bible. That's all it took and I realized I rather get to know God and communicate with him, than settle for something boring. When I read my Bible and pray, its not because I have to to meet my "quiet time" qouta for the day. It's because I want to have a relationship with a thrilling God. I promise, if you will quit being a slave to the "quiet time" you will experience God in a whole knew way. And believe it or not....you'll find yourself praying and picking up your Bible to read it even when its not 5am...with a big study Bible... and 5 other devotionals...in total silence. Now doesn't that sound more like a real relationship to you?

Building Communication Skills

As a counselor, I have noticed that in general people are lacking in communication skills. This is a major problem because good communication is foundational for a healthy relationship. So I've decided to share some communication skills I have learned along the way. Hopefully we will all begin actively using these skills. It's my goal to not just be a hearer of good advice, but a doer as well.
1.) A good listener helps the other feel accepted and understood by doing the following:
     *Deciding that the other person's words are important and valid and that listening is a commitment you make to your relationship.
     *Removing as many distractions as possible from your conversations (Computer, Internet, phone, ipod, tv, poor eye contact, multi-tasking, etc)
     *Waiting until the other person has finished talking before responding
     *Not "analyzing" what the other person is saying or planning ahead what you will say

2.) A good responder makes effective self-expression statements by doing the following:
     *Begin statements with "I"- this takes responsibility of emotions
     *Make statements and avoid questions
     *When you need to ask a questions, make an "I statement" first. Ex: "I am not sure what you mean. Could you tell me more?"
     *Questions should begin with "How" rather than "Why"(it is accusatory). Ex: "How did it happen that you are late tonight?
     *Make statements as straightforward and honest as possible, using few words.

3.)Contructive requests are made openly and directly. Remember:
     *It is helpful to ask, rather than assume that someone knows what you want.
     *Avoid making your request when your listener is busy or preoccupied.
4.)Feedback is information that reduces uncertainty. Give and ask for feedback often. Remember:
     *Begin with "I"
     *Refer to specific behavior. "I felt good that you called to tell me that you were going to be late." or "I would like for you to call me if you are going to be late."
     *Ask for verification. "Do you understand?"

What are your core beliefs?

One of my favorite books is The Shack by William P Young. If you haven't read it...you should! Keep in mind it is fiction and not theological doctrine...wouldn't want you to go getting your doctrinal panties in a wad. :)    One of my favorite parts in the book is when God is talking to Mack about his core beliefs. This is something I talk about when counseling...a lot! Our beliefs effect our thoughts about specific events which effects our emotional responses. For example, if you are struggling with the emotion response of fear, look back at the event that you think caused the fear and figure out how you have perceived the event and then look at the belief behind the perception...then you will find the root of the problem and begin the path to change and healing.  Clear as mud right?! Maybe this qoute from The Shack will clear it up: "Paradigms power perception and perceptions power emotions. Most emotions are responses to perception--what you think is true about a given situation. If your perception is false, then your emotional response to it will be false too. So check your perceptions, and beyond that check the truthfulness of your paradigms--what you believe. Just because you believe something firmly doesn't make it true. Be willing to reexamine what you believe. The more you live in truth, the more your emotions will help you see clearly. But even then, you don't want to trust them more than me [God]."  Knowing what your paradigms, or core beliefs, are is key. It is so important to know what you believe, in every area of life (especially about God) and why you believe it.  If you don't your emotions and perceptions will begin shaking you to your core until you figure it out.  Ask your family and friends what their core beliefs are if you don't know where to start. If nothing else, it will encourage some great conversation with your family!  Life's to short to stay in the shallow end! :)

Changing up the blog....

Well married life is great. Can't complain one bit. My husband is wonderful. So other than constant ramblings about that...I realized I don't have much to say about being a new wife. I thought in the beginning I would talk about all the things I wish I had known prior to marriage...but then I thought...WHY SPOIL THE FUN FOR THOSE NOT MARRIED YET! :) So I'm changing up the content of this blog...While my blog is still going to be the new wife adventure, it will focus less on marriage and more on ideas, topics, issues, and spiritual matters that I have dealt with, thought about, or learned along the way. These blogs will show my true passions. Hopefully you will see more of the real me(thanks Michelle!). My first idea I'm going to explore on here is a rather small one, but I figured I should start small and slowly introduce you to my passions. :) (You'll thank me later !!) So the thought is....If your desire for meaning in life and completion is placed in anything other than your relationship with God, you will be miserable. The only source of perfection is God and everything else is imperfect. How can an imperfect being or object fulfil you? Just by nature it can't. It will let you down everytime. You will feel more lonely, more purposeless, and more incomplete. For example, if your meaning for life is found in marriage, or if you think you are made complete by your spouse, your level of insecurity grows, your level of fear grows, and your standards start dropping because they are rarely met. That's because your spouse is imperfect and they WILL let you down at some point. It is at this point, when your meaning and completion are found in your marriage, that you begin to fall apart. So over the years, even in dating relationships, I have learned that if I become consumed with someone else or something else in hopes that it will make me whole or satisfy that desire deep within for meaning in life, I will be let down everytime. But the moment I put my satisfaction and hope in my relationship with God, then everything else in life is just bonus, even my husband. What relief for him. He doesn't have to meet my every need- especially those that he couldn't meet even if he tried. My needs are meet in God and that takes a lot of presure of of everyone else, myself, and especially Andrew. My challenge to you is seek God for satisfaction and meaning so everything else can be an incredible bonus to your life. I promise it will be well worth it!

Best Advice I Ever Got

This blog is devoted to the best pieces of advice I got before Andrew and I got married...
On a relational level: My dad told us that when arguing neither one of us is the problem. We have to figure out what the problem is and solve it.We have said this to each other when arguing :) It works!!!
On a "save my sanity" level: My mom told me to pick my battles. Some things are just not worth the argument. I really do try!!
On a practical level:  Mallory told us to plan our menus for the week and grocery shop accordingly! This has saved us a ton!
For fun: Mr. Chastain told Andrew that if he didn't treat me right then the whole town of Greensboro would be after him! :) So far so good!
Maybe you can add some good pieces of advice you heard before you got married or maybe you've been married long enough to add some more good tips to my list!

New Church Adventure

Joining a church. Sounds easy right? Well it hasn't been that easy for me. I think a lot of my hang up in joining a church is accepting the responsibility of actually choosing the right church. My dad is a pastor, so we've always had our church picked for us. I liked that. I liked that my dad was the pastor. That I knew how genuinely faithful he was to God. It never failed, every morning I could always find my dad and mom spending time with God. I saw the life they lived so it was easy for me to listen to their biblical wisdom. There have, however, been pastors that were somewhat close to my family that have betrayed any trust I put in them. SO when I moved out of my parents house, finding a church and a pastor that I could trust and respect proved to be difficult for me. Now that I'm married, it has been important to Andrew and I to find a church that we could be a part of together. We finally decided on a church that we would attend regularly and hopefully join. The sermon this morning was the beginning of a year journey through the book of Romans. The pastor was talking about how Paul identified himself to the Romans. Paul said that he was set apart for the gospel. The point was made that at one time Paul was set apart from-- he was cold, uncaring, protective of religious institution. Now he said he was set apart for-- good news, love, purpose, Christ. We are all called to be set apart, will you be set apart from or for?