This post, http://bradmoffatt.wordpress.com/2007/10/25/pastors-kids/#comment-1020, and the replys were a very interesting read. I've been researching help for pastor's kids because I would love to one day have a venue to minister to other pastors kids. If you know a pastor's kid please take a minute to pray for them.
I have an incredible dad who happens to be a pastor. I love my dad very much and think the world of him. I think he would be the first to tell you that life in a pastor's home is not always easy. Nor is it ever perfect. I think it is safe to say that my dad definitely had to learn how to balance ministry and family. He didn't always get it right, but what parent does? I think the underlying issue that pk's struggle with is that their parent isn't just absent because of work, but to the kid...the parent is absent because of God. When you start meshing the spiritual into the parents career...it can get sticky. As I've gotten older, I've realized that the pressure surrounding me as a pk was not at all because my dad put it there, but because of the stigma and standard that comes along with being a pastors family. I've always felt a strong need to protect my parents from any hurt or wrongdoing from me or anyone else, sometimes at the expense of my own sanity. I'm sure my parents would say even now that I could talk to them about anything, but more often than not, my need to protect them keeps my mouth shut. Another pressure sometimes unknowingly placed on me as a pk, is a desire to be perfect. And when I fall short, the fall seems that much harder. Everyone's watching. I'm sure my sibilings would agree that living in a glass house is not fun. And sometimes you just want to be like everyone else. No pressure to be the most Godly person in the room. This is how pk's get a bad rap. They just want to know what it feels like to be bad. I know that sounds funny...but to a pk...we get it. So for me, I have to say that most of my struggle as a pastor's kid has not been because of my dad, but because of the stigma placed by the world and church alike. There was one church that my family was at that really hurt me. It took me a long time to get over it. In fact, there are still places in my heart that are tender to that hurt. However, the church that my dad is currently at has overall been a huge blessing. Sure the pressure was there....but for the most part I have felt nothing but loved. One thing I've always found interesting is that whenever me and my siblings bring friends over, they are always suprised at how down to earth my dad is but yet always aware of the "elephant" in the room, so to speak. Pastor, wife, kids, and church....it's an interesting dynamic. One that isn't easily explained. I'm working on being more candid in talking about my life as a pk because I would love to help those in similar shoes. So I'll welcome any questions. It'll be a pk adventure!
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